Dear PhD.,

Day for editing and sending what I have to the prof.
So nervous excited. Could be ok, could be shit.

M

Dear PhD.,

Soooooo sleepy, I dranl a double esspresso and did 30 jumpng jacks but my eyes droop and my brain switched off.
I need to finish this chapter today.
Maybe waking at 5 AM is a bad idea. I am getting atleast 6 hours of sleep a day. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAh.

M

Dear PhD,
Some days things are fine, I work all day and go home and crash knowing I made progress and sleeping with the thought 'tomorrow s another day'. Some days, for no reason, the tension comes back and kills my productivity. I know the main chapters are done. I just have to do the smaller bit now. But I just can't I dont want to. I can't. Cry again.

M

Der PhD.

Another day. A long hard week lies ahead. A long hard month after that.
But Im moving at least. I just have to pass, I just have to pass, I just have to pass.

M

Dear PhD.,

Its snooooooooooowing!
No one is in the building, The office has been empty this whole week for xmas and now its the weekend. I see no one all day everyday.
I want to celebrate the snow but there is no one to jump for joy with.
Work is ok. I wrote 35 pages in 11 day. I surprise myself.

M

Dear PhD., 

Yesterdays non-argument has fallen into place. You are a thing of mystery.
I am in the office building alone. Arrived at 6:30, it was so quiet and so very empty. 

M 

A day of crying.

some days are good, some days terrible TOday I made word count but no arguments. :(

Panic panic.
G read some of the thesis. He made great comments. So far all is fixable. But not soon enough to give to the prof.
How to write and have him read and fix together?

Dear PhD.,

I feel exhilarated when I make an argument. It helps the imposter syndrome to subside for a few minutes or hours sometimes even the whole day. But time is not on my side (or I made fun of time too many days and now I suffer for it).
And the more time I have with you, the more I will have to do. So I will spend all my energy to get rid of you now and then try and remember the good times.

M

Dear PhD.,

Panic and self doubt ate me up yesterday. Today was better, got 2000 words writen. onto other things tomorrow. Last 6 weeks with you.

M

Dear PhD.

Dreaming of graduation to help tide me through. I'm going to wear the yellow silk saree. Hope mom and dad are here. Hope no one reads my thesis.

M

Dear PhD.,
We took a break. I went away because you  made me so horrile and stressed and I missed my life.
Now I'm in trouble again.
I'm have to get rid of you in a couple of months.
Please make this easy for me.

M